up and tired to make an attempt to vent but i just feel so weak whenever i wanna say what i feel.
cos from where you seat and look at this, you're probably gonna intepret it 110% different.
so i never wanted to be irritating, "talking abt you almost all the time"
i just happen to think of you all the time okay. no when or how or why or what.
IT HAPPENS. and its not like i want it to.
all i know is i feel alive, i feel hope and build on a faith,
a faith that says maybe one day, maybe one fine day you might take a liking for me.
but it never happens.

right now, i keep giving this gloomy face i'm so afraid it will be stuck like that.
you dont even realised what you did.
COS it dont matter what i do in the day or how many times i try to erase you off my thoughts at night, in the morning, I WILL ALWAYS GET THAT FUCKING TEAR IN MY MIND AND I WOULD BE THINKING OF YOU. GOD DAMN IT.

it doesnt matter who i go out with, whenever i see a familiar thing, memories comes back to me.
i hear a piano and i rmb wanting to learn it to play it with you.
i saw fish and co. and jurong point and i rmb going to that restaurant at orchard with you.
i feel my some itch in my nose and i rmb you always complain that.
everything just reminds me of you. . .

what do you expect me to do? when everyday in the past, i live the day by thinking how to get to know you better. how to make you happier,
suddenly, i have nth to do. i feel so lost.
the most obvious example is the JCs.
studied hard to get into the same JC as you.
so i tot i will choose whatever you choose.
but now. i dont even care which one i go to. i have no interest in appeal either. i dont even know what course i wanna take.
when i go to facebook or twitter, its to see your most recent update. now i've nth to do when i switch on the com so i succumb to games which i dont like. god damn.

you'll never understand anw.

ahh whatever. i need to sleep